Building My Best Self: A Four-Year Commitment to Personal Growth

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Building My Best Self: A Four-Year Commitment to Personal Growth

About four years ago, I decided to add journaling to my daily routine. After getting into meditation, I set a simple goal: wake up early, meditate, journal, and go to the gym before starting my day. But waking up early wasn’t easy. As an engineer, I was used to staying up late coding.

At first, I tried waking up early without changing my bedtime of 11 PM or midnight, and it just didn’t work. So, I started going to bed earlier, around 10 PM, and slowly adjusted my wake-up time. I began by waking up at 6:40 AM, then moved to 6:20 AM, and kept setting my alarm earlier until I reached 5:00 AM. The iOS Bedtime feature really helped me shift my sleep schedule.

“Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. If you work hard on your job you can make a living, but if you work hard on yourself you’ll make a fortune.” Jim Rohn

Why I’m doing it?

It’s important to answer that question because having a strong reason will keep you going, even when it’s hard. My reason is to be the best version of myself for my daughter and my family. I want to learn and grow so I can become the best dad, husband, son, brother, friend, and leader I can be while I’m here.

How can I change?

To see real change, I had to make sacrifices. I work out every day, quit drinking alcohol, and set healthy boundaries with friends and family. I decided to minimize social media use, go to bed early, and wake up early. Waking up early is key because it’s a distraction-free time—no one else is awake, and I can focus on myself.

Daily Workout

Not everyone has the luxury to work out every day, however I ofter hear many people saying, “I don’t have time” the biggest lie. As a software engineer, I spend about 80% of my day sitting at a desk staring at a screen—probably like you, even if you work a different job.

I like to think of the body as a machine, similar to a car. Most people take better care of their car with regular maintenance than they do of their own body. But if our body isn’t healthy, we won’t get healthy results in life. When the body suffers, the mind can’t think clearly, and our blood flow slows down—both literally and metaphorically.

Exercise keeps everything moving. It clears my mind, boosts my energy, and helps me handle challenges better. It’s not about finding time but making it, because nothing is more important than maintaining the “machine” that keeps us alive. Go to the gym 1 day per week, then two days just move.

These three graphs show my workout sessions from 2022, 2023, and 2024. Tracking progress with data helps identify areas to improve and set new goals.

“If you don’t move or If you don’t workout you die” Jocko Willink

Quitting Alcohol

Growing up in the beautiful Dominican Republic 🌴 , I was taught that alcohol was the key to having fun. Even though I never had a serious problem with drinking, I realized through my daily journaling that a lot of my issues came from my dad, however, thanks to him I became an engineer, and I don’t judge him anymore he did his the best he could, and I’m grateful for that, we inherit a lot of good qualities but also the bad ones. He always meant well, but he confused drinking with happiness. I remembered how, at parties, he was always the life of the event. However, the next day, the hangover and lack of sleep made him irritable and unproductive.

I saw myself becoming the same way, and I didn’t want to pass this attitude on to my daughter. Those hangover days were also when I had the most conflicts with my wife. I realized that I needed to be fully present for my family, especially on weekends when we spend the most time together. That became my strongest “why” for quitting alcohol.

I started small. At social events, I would pretend to drink something that looked like alcohol—like sparkling water with lime—so I didn’t feel pressured or have to explain myself. When you quit drinking, people often think you had a problem with it, and there can be some social judgment. But for me, it was about making a change for the better, not just avoiding alcohol.

Sobriety is not about giving up; it’s about gaining clarity and purpose.

Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries with family and friends is always one of the hardest things to do. I often remember the quote, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” It’s so easy to be influenced by those around us. Moving to the U.S. helped me a lot with this, but then I started meeting new people who eventually became part of my environment some of them good and bad influence even when they are good people.

If someone isn’t helping us to grow, and we find ourself getting frustrated often, it’s not about them—it’s about us. We have control, but if we don’t take action, that’s when the frustration happens. Writing this down helped me understand why I was getting angry or why I started thinking a certain way due to others’ influences.

It’s tough to set boundaries gradually, so sometimes the best solution is simply to distance yourself from certain people. Just be careful not to go too far and become antisocial like I did. 🙂

“Boundaries should not aim to control others but should protect the individual from their own triggers.” Jay Shetty

Minimizing the use of Media

This has been the hardest one for me. I’m still struggling with it, and it made me realize how little self-control I have. The first thing I used to do was stay available all the time, especially on WhatsApp. Mixing work with personal life—having both work and friend groups—made it hard to disconnect. I used to think I couldn’t quit WhatsApp because I would lose touch with work.

But after I stopped using it, I realized people always find a way to reach out. I asked myself, “Is it really that important?” Now, I only reinstall WhatsApp if there’s no easier way to communicate, or if I’m planning an event, and then I remove it again. The same goes for Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and X (Twitter). Even though I still have accounts, I started uninstalling the apps and only reinstalling them on weekends. Eventually, it became easy to just keep them uninstalled, as they didn’t add any real value to my life. Now, I do the same with X—it’s only available on weekends.

The only social media I find truly beneficial is YouTube, and I even pay for the premium version. I use it every day at the gym to listen to podcasts, and it’s easy to customize recommendations based on my interests. (Take a look my playlist at the bottom of this page)

“Discipline is the rejection of instant gratification in favor of something better and more rewarding.” – Maxwell Maltz

Improving Sleep Habits

Who doesn’t struggle with sleep? If you don’t, I envy you! I don’t have a perfect solution yet, but I’m still working on it. To track my sleep habits, I’ve started marking an (X) on my calendar when I don’t sleep well. If I’m excited about work or something on my mind, it’s harder to fall asleep or if I change my eating habits.

But no matter how I feel, I’ve made it a rule to go to bed at 9 PM. Setting a set time helps a little, but there are still nights when I struggle for hours to fall asleep. Even if I wake up exhausted the next day, it’s hard to stay focused. I try to remind myself, “You’re tired, so be careful what you say.” Being tired and hungry is a bad combination, and I’ve learned from my daughter that emotions can really take over in those moments! 🙂

“There’s no bad day, there are only bad moments” Michael Bassey Johnson

Morning ritual

I wake up at 5 AM, usually tired. I won’t lie and say it’s easy—it’s not. But I’ve stopped overthinking it. When my alarm goes off, I get up right away. This is where discipline takes over. While I’m still in bed for a few seconds, I remind myself of Eric Thomas’s words:

• “I can because I’m capable.”

• “I will because I’m strong.”

• “I must because my family is counting on me.”

Then I jump out of bed. Interestingly, the days I wake up tired often turn out to be my most productive. On the other hand, when I sleep too much, I feel lazier, my day gets harder, and I procrastinate more.

After getting up, I brush my teeth, put on some clothes, and head to the living room where my journal and books are ready. I drink water, make a black coffee (no sugar), and open the Headspace app. It guides me through three daily activities:

1. A 1-minute breathing exercise.

2. A 5-minute session on a random topic.

3. A 15-20-minute guided meditation.

By the time I’m done (around 5:50 AM), my coffee is ready. Then I play some quite music, I start journaling. I always check in with myself by writing the date and time and filling in how I’m feeling—something like, “Good morning, today I’m feeling ____ sleepy :)”.
I write about my last night’s sleep, any dreams I had, what stood out from the day before, what is in my head or what I’m overthinking, and my plans for the day ahead. This ritual helps me start the day with intention and focus.

I’ve never been someone who enjoyed reading or writing—it used to be my weakness. I write in English to improve my skills, though I still make spelling mistakes, which also adds extra value to the habit. Some days, I write just a few lines and other days, I fill a few pages. It all started with one notebook, and for the past four years, I’ve stuck with the same brand and pen.

Every day, after writing, I read a page from The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday. I highlight anything that stands out to me and write about how I can apply it to my life or what insights I gain from it. I’ve been following this routine for years, and every January, I start the book again. Over time, I’ve noticed that the same passages feel different depending on my day, mood, or life situation. For example, today’s page (December 18th) is about “what comes to us all,” and when I reflect on it, my understanding is different from what it was last year. This happens with every page—it’s like the book evolves with me because my state of mind keeps changing. The most important lesson I’ve learned from the Daily Stoic is about what we can and we cannot control.

This year, I added another book by the same author, The Daily Dad, which helps me become a better father and focus more on my child. Often, we get so caught up in work that we forget parenting isn’t just about instinct or improvisation. We need to learn and reflect to avoid repeating the mistakes our parents made. My biggest fear is having regrets about how I raised my child, so I want to ensure I do my best to avoid those mistakes.

By 6:40 AM, I’m ready to head to the gym, where I usually arrive by 7:00 AM. I work out for an hour, listening to a podcast and using a bodybuilding app to guide my training. At 8:15 AM, I return home just as my wife and daughter are getting ready for the day, thanks to my wife who takes care of a lot of stuff in the morning that most of the time is beautifully chaotic. I shower, and by 9:00 AM, I’m ready to tackle anything—good news, bad news, work challenges, or unexpected issues, and put the best work I can.

Change you body, you I’ll change your emotion, change your emotions you’ll change your decision

“we cannot control external events, but we can control our response to them” Marcus Aurelius

Consistency

Everyone knows consistency pays off, but why is it so hard to stick with it? That’s why setting personal rules is important—they help us stay disciplined and consistent.

A friend once told me that doing the same thing every day sounds boring. While that might be true, it also gives me freedom. I feel less stressed because I don’t have to overthink things like what to do, what to eat, or where to work. I save time by sticking to a routine and focusing on what needs to be done.

For me, routine is very important. I write in the same spot, work out in the same gym, and work in the same space. When I’m on vacation or need to work in a different location, it can feel stressful. I’m most comfortable with structure, but even when traveling, I try to maintain my rhythm of writing and working out. It’s harder, but I see it as a challenge worth taking.

Sometimes it ain’t about being the most talented. Sometimes it ain’t about being the smartest. Sometimes it’s not even about working the hardest. Sometimes it’s about consistency!

Ultimate Goal

I wish I had learned this sooner, but my main goal is to stay balanced—not too excited and not unmotivated. I want to stay calm regardless of the situation because that’s when I make the best decisions, think clearly, and avoid hurting others with my words. It’s also when I can focus on what truly matters, improve my communication, make real progress, and become a better leader.

Investing in myself—my emotions, mindset, and character—has been the best investment I’ve ever made. Money and opportunities have become natural side effects of this inner work.

Peace comes from knowing I’m focused on my family, helping others, and improving every day. Even when I make mistakes, like saying the wrong thing to someone or messing up at work, I reflect on them, learn, avoid making the same mistakes personally and professionally, and get better. That process makes me happy and excited to get up every day, I want to become wiser.

“Pain + Reflection = Progress” Ray Dalio

What can you do?

I’m not writing this blog to show off or seek praise, so I hope it’s not misunderstood. My goal is to inspire someone, even in a small way. We don’t have to change the world or help everyone—we just need to do our part to help at least one person.

If you’ve tried making changes before and struggled, don’t worry. You can always start again, no matter how many times it takes. Start small. You might wonder how to achieve all these things, but it’s simple: focus on adding one habit at a time.

I didn’t create my full morning routine overnight. I started with one thing, then added another, and then another. Take your time and don’t rush the process. If life gets in the way and you stop, remember this: as long as we’re alive, we have the chance to begin again. It’s never too late—just start now, and reach out if you need help.

Don’t compare yourself to others not even with me. Being true to yourself, authenticity is one of the greatest qualities anyone can have. We’re all perfectly unique within our imperfections.

If you’ve made it through this long read, thank you so much!

Everything changes and everything ends

My Personal Items List

Personal Growth Favorite Books

External piece of motivation

This is a playlist of videos I like and want to revisit often. I tend to forget things quickly, so I listen to these while working out. One thing I’ve learned is that no one has all the answers. Each piece of content or perspective might feel repetitive, but everyone has the right to share their experiences and point of view.

Just because someone says something or write a book doesn’t mean we should follow it blindly. Instead, I gather information from different sources and use it to form my own conclusions. Please don’t hesitate to send me your recommendations, in the comments, email, or contact form